He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
