11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
