from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
