is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
