My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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