I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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