how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
