My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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