Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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