Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
