Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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