I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
