is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
