after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
