When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
