Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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