i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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