Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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