apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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