I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
