I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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