She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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