so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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