So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
