ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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