i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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