what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
