Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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