If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she told me i tasted like america
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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