hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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