You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
