i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
