where am i from again
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
