my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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