eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
