the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
PANTIES FOUND
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