found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
