My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
