The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
