How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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