well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
