there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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