Sponge bath it is.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
