I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
