Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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