i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
