smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
