You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
In America we eat man semen.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
