Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
50% drunk capacity currently
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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