White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
