I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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