Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
