he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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